In Memory.

Last month while hanging out with a good friend, she asked me if I had seen the Detroit Tiger crochet hats floating around online. I made a mental note to look them up. By now you all know where my mental notes go…

Last week another friend asked me if I could make each of her kids “one of those Detroit Tigers hats she had seen online.” This time I asked for a picture (because we knew where that last mental note went…)

I found a pattern on etsy and got hooking. *This is the inspiration hat on etsy.

While crocheting these hats I kept thinking of my 94 year old Great Grandmother. She is a huge Tigers fan. We used to sit on her back porch in the green wicker rockers playing cards and listening to the Tigers game.

Shortly after finishing the first hat, I received a phone call. “Grandma is in the hospital. Doesn’t look good.”

The next day (Wednesday) my mom, brother, and I drove two hours to the hospital and sat next to her hospital bed.

She passed away yesterday.

She was my last living grandparent, and a very influential part of my life. This death is a hard one, not because she didn’t live a wonderfully long life (ninety-four!). Because I wasn’t deliberate about making time these past few years. I had so much I wanted to learn from her, questions I wanted to ask.

*Fun Fact: While at the hospital I asked my Great Aunt and Uncle why Grandma listened to the Tigers instead of watching them on the television. “As a girl she used to listen to them in the hammock with her father. She had tried to watch them on t.v. but she couldn’t stand seeing them spit and scratch themselves.” That’s my Grandma.

I go through periods of  vacancy and numbness for a bit, but I’m okay. I know I am lucky to have had a relationship with my Great Grandmother.

Thankfully I have four more Tiger hats to crochet. This means time to deliberately reflect on memories of Great Grandma.

Are you lucky to have had a relationship with your grandparents? If so, what is your favorite memory?

Earlier in the year I had started a little series Lessons from Great Grandma’s Kitchen. My goal is to pick up where I left off and document the lessons this wonderful woman taught me.

Getting Dirty…

We are still adapting to this new stage of life. In between our sports schedules we have a yard to take care of, a garden to plant, all of those outdoor to-dos on our list, and two almost two-year olds to wear out.

I am pretty sure that this summer will be one of the most difficult summers for us. The boys are at the stage where they love to run and explore. I absolutely LOVE this part of toddlerhood! The difficult part? They don’t follow direction too well. In order for us to wear them out for the day let them release all of their toddler energy two adults need to be present. As you can imagine, this makes it hard to accomplish much around here.

We are slowly figuring things out though:

While Daddy tilled the garden Mama took the boys for a ride.

After Daddy was done, we took a walk….and found mud:

  

Watching our boys stomp in the mud (Zeke decided to sit and play in the mud) filled my mind with childhood memories.

My own Mama would lovingly shove my brother and I out the door saying, “Go outside and play.” We had so many adventures throughout the woods, stomping in every puddle we could find. The car horn told us it was time to head to the house, dad is home from work. He would be standing there, garden hose in hand. He always acted so proud as we showed him ‘how muddy we got today!’ Then he would hose us off before letting us retreat inside.

Standing at the puddle, hubby looked at me and said, “I am so glad I married a woman who is not afraid of dirt.” (thankfully he wasn’t talking about our messy house.)

That’s what kind of Mama I want to be. I want to encourage our boys to get dirty. Teach them to climb trees and build forts. Show them how to catch frogs (and beg them to take away the snakes). I want to pass down the skill of ‘worming the hook.’ I was meant to be the Mama of boys.

Back to our walk:

Zeke’s muddy pants were slowing him down. Xander had no patience for the slower pace and grabbed his brother’s hand and helped him down the trail.

I guess Zeke felt they were walking too fast.

Boys will be boys!

Do you have any tricks to wearing out toddler boys? I have no clue where all of their energy comes from!

Being a Mama to Twins

It has been a while since my last twin post. In lieu of Mother’s Day, I thought I would share how my life has changed since being a mama of twins.

Prior to my pregnancy I was a planner and researcher. I spent so much time analyzing the best way to do things. Then I set to getting them done; in a perfectly productive manner (much to my “go with the flow” husband’s annoyance). I always had a plan in place; and had to follow that plan to the letter. Spontaneous to me would be letting my husband choose a restaurant….from a carefully chosen list.

Then this happened:

Since I had an ectopic (tubal) pregnancy months earlier, an emergency ultrasound was ordered. We had our first photography session at eight weeks:

Needless to say, we were a bit surprised.

I had an awesome pregnancy. So awesome that if I could guarantee every pregnancy would be as good as this one, I might do it over. *Maybe we’ll talk twin pregnancy in the future.

Back to mothering twins. It seemed that the moment I found out about Thing 1 and Thing 2 (we didn’t find out the sex, so these were the names of our growing fetuses) I let out a huge breath of air. It was as though God was reminding me that he is in charge, so stop planning.

Like most pregnant women, I was not myself. I was more relaxed, nicer, more understanding. I went with the flow (it may have been that I was just too big to fight the current).

Then after forty weeks (actually 39 weeks, and four days), these little buggers decided it was time to make their appearance. The day before their scheduled arrival (cesarean).

After a few short days, the hospital decided it was time for us to go home.

That is when my whole world turned upside down!

Before I go any further I want to say this first; I love being the mama to these wonderful boys. I feel so blessed each and every day, and I would not change a single thing.

Back to the upside-down-world… I had visions about what kind of mom I would be. I had concrete determination about how we were going to parent these little blessings. But God had other plans.

Motherhood is nothing like I had imagined it. In the beginning it was almost unbearable. Of course, I looked put-together. It seemed like I was adjusting. I appeared to be handling this new role. But I was an absolute mess!

Things didn’t get easier until I gave up. I didn’t give up on the family, I gave up trying to force my plans. Once I threw in the towel, and started ‘going with the flow’ things sort of fell into place.

It is still so very hard for me to adjust to each new obstacle mothering brings, but I finally feel like I can handle change. We are well into the toddler stage, and EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. presents something new and albeit challenging, but now I just cope.

I can comfortably tell people that motherhood is the most awesome and rewarding thing I have ever done.

There will be steep hills you have to battle to climb. But please don’t keep your focus at reaching the top. Instead, soak in each and every experience on the way.

Dealing With Routine Changes…Again

Looking back at past blog posts, I am amazed at how quickly seasons change. I’m not talking about the weather, but the seasons of life. Quietness in my little space of the internet tend to signify these changes.

These season changes tend to frustrate me to no end. You may have noticed that I have grown to LOVE routines. It seems that once I get a productive and comfortable routine established, life changes once again. Keeping me on my toes, I guess.

I have a few more things around here to catch up on; some cleaning, major freezer cooking, pricing stuff for our garage sale, and a whole mess of other things. This all needs to be squeezed in-between our baseball/softball season (7 games a week!).

So things will still be quiet around here for a few more days while I re-establish a new routine. Thanks in advance for your patience.

Want some egg-free chocolate chip cookies while you wait?

The boys recommend this recipe.

Happy belated Mother’s Day!

Happy Easter!

Has it really been a week since my last post? Yup. I found a surge of motivation and was super busy in the sewing dungeon preparing for Easter. I promise to post pictures soon. Here’s a snippet:

Hope everyone had as much fun as my “Little Bunnies” did.

Happy Holidays.

Lessons From Great Grandma’s Kitchen; Recipe Organization

Recipe organization is something I have been struggling with for a while now. I even made corralling my recipe chaos one of my 30 by 30 goals.

Like most recipe hoarders, I have a stash of recipes that are spilling out of folders, notebooks, and drawers. This doesn’t even include my abundance of cookbooks that I need to weed down (hmmm… do I see a 31 by 31 goal…). Don’t forget to throw Pinterest in there.

I had this idea that I would digitize and organize my recipes. After many unsuccessful attempts I gave up (quite a few times). The thought of starting up my computer, then searching for a recipe all but drained any kitchen ambitions I had. The worst part was when hubby would ask, “could you make that dish you made….? You know it had….?” I realized that I was not keeping track of recipes that my family liked.

One of the best things about cooking with Grandma was pulling out her green metal recipe box. I would flip through the 3 x 5 index cards adorned with Grandma’s penmanship and years of cooking smudges. As I grew older our time together in the kitchen grew far and few. One habit that never ceased was requesting to look through Grandma’s recipe box.

I have recently accepted that digital isn’t for me. I have taken to Grandma’s recipe organization; the green metal box. Each recipe in Grandma’s little metal box had been tried, tested, perfected, and family approved. No magazine clippings shoved in there.

I still have my overflow of paper. I still add to my Pinterest boards. But when I find a successful recipe (meaning a recipe that my family will eat again), I handwrite the recipe on a 3 x 5 index card, and tuck it safely into my very own green metal box. (Do you know how many garage sales we went to before we found a green metal box?)

This method has been working so far. I guess I just wasn’t meant to be a digital cook.

How do you organize your recipes?

*Did you miss the first lesson from Great Grandma’s kitchen? Here it is.

The Moment He Became a Man

I had plans for Tuesday night. Since hubby bowls Tuesday nights, I had planned to write (blog posts) after the twins went to bed. I had at least three days worth in my head, ready to be stroked onto the keyboard and rescued from the tornado of ‘things to remember.’

Its funny how life never happens the way you plan.

The boys and I were on one couch while my step-daughter was on the other couch. We were cuddling, and watching her movie choice, Tinker Bell. My step-son was in the kitchen.

We heard a BANG.

He came in the living room a minute later, “Did you hear that?” Yes, indeed I did.

Let me give a little background here. We live in what I would call a rural town. One of those communities where you don’t have to lock your doors, because bad things don’t typically happen. Neighbors are family (literally and figuratively). It’s usually quiet around here.

Our community is also of the hunting variety. It is normal to hear a BANG echo from the bay… during the fall.

Its not fall.

We dismissed it, and went on with our tasks. About an hour later the next-door neighbor called. Our street had been barricaded. She was not allowed home. She was told everyone had been evacuated. There was a man. With a gun.

While talking to her and looking out the front window State police pulled up in front of our house, parked in the street, and exited their car with guns aimed. “I have to let you go,” I told the neighbor.

I called the local police. “We have a sensitive situation. Everyone has been evacuated.”

“NO! Everyone has NOT been evacuated! I am in my house with 4 children.”

They told me they were someone was on their way to escort us out on foot.

Obviously I am scared. I coral all the kids into the kitchen. I ask them to stay on the floor. Then I calmly (at least as calmly as I could), explained to them what was going on. “I need you guys to help me get your brothers’ snow pants, coats, and boots on.” I then crept through the house gathering everything I thought we might need; sippy cups, extra milk, warm clothes for the bigger kids, diaper bag, etc.

This story is not to ruminate about the incident itself, the fact that we were overlooked, or even the fact that we sat on the kitchen floor dressed for a snowstorm for an hour before being rescued from the chaos. This story is about a boy becoming a man.

We have been blessed with the most wonderful children. My step-son gets good grades, is very active in sports, and makes good decisions. Today, he stepped up to the plate. While it would have been easier to argue with his sister, panic, worry, or freak out he choose the more difficult road. He helped get the confused toddlers dressed. He kept in touch with his dad. He helped council his sister and entertain his brothers. He pushed his fears aside and put our safety first.

This transformation from boy to man usually happens slowly. Changes that often go unnoticed until one day you wake up and wonder where did our little boy go? Despite the stress, fear, and anxiety; I am so thankful God opened my eyes so I could see this transformation amongst the havoc.

Have you been blessed to see a character transformation in your children?

Kitchen Lessons I Have Learned From Great Grandma; part 1

Celebrating 90 years.

I am one of those fortunate people who had the opportunity to know my great-grandparents. Our family would take the two hour drive to Lake Orion every Sunday for a visit. They also took us kids (usually separately) for a whole week during the summer.

Great Grandma was a wise woman. Additionally, like most people from her generation; she knew her way around the kitchen. For the next 4 weeks I plan to post lessons I have learned from that simple and inviting kitchen in the city.

Here goes, the first lesson:

Shortly after I learned to read, I became more interested in helping in the kitchen. Mom, dad, and grandparents all received my “help”. One summer while staying my week with Grandma and Grandpa, Grandma had decided it was time I learn how to make pancakes.

We were having breakfast on the picnic table. The neighbors and their children were invited. So you can imagine the honor I felt receiving the opportunity to make most important part of breakfast, the pancakes.

Grandma handed me the 3x5 index card, covered with her beautiful scrawl. I immediately started getting out ingredients, bowls, and utensils. I knew what I was doing, I have helped Grandma, and mom and dad (who both learned how to make pancakes from this very woman, in this very kitchen).

I measured and poured. I stirred and mixed. I cooked and flipped. All the while Grandma looked over my shoulder with a proud smile on her face, letting me do my thing.

We all sat down at the picnic table in the backyard. There were at least 8 of us. Everyone dove in, putting a pancake on their plate. Smoothing butter (the real stuff, no Can’t Believe in this house), drizzling with syrup. I did the same, cut off a piece, and took a bite.

YUCK! This was my very loud internal thought. I looked around at everyone else, waiting for their horrified reactions.

No reactions were to be seen or heard. In fact, I was told “good breakfast.” I did observe additional syrup going on all the pancakes though….

After breakfast, while cleaning up I asked Grandma why the pancakes tasted so bad. I did use her recipe, and they tasted nothing like the pancakes I was used to.

Grandma let out a little chuckle. “You didn’t read the recipe.” she went on to explain that I put salt in for sugar, and vice versa.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“If I stopped you, the same mistake will be made in the future. Now, you will always read the recipe thoroughly.”

“Why did everyone still eat them, and even say they were good?”

Although there were many kitchen lessons learned during this experience, here’s the most important lesson I took from that day:

“They were gobbling up the love you put into those pancakes, not the salty flapjacks. Besides, any meal you don’t have to cook yourself is a good meal.” Grandma is very intelligent…and matter-of-fact.

What is your earliest memory in the kitchen? Any life lessons learned?

Daddy Saved a Box

Hubby brought home a box. A big box.

He came home from work with excitement on his face, a roll of duct tape on his wrist, a utility knife in his back pocket, and a box.

We got to cutting; cut out a door and window. Then we taped the flap down, and taped the door and window edges (don’t want any boo-boos). Remember all that leftover green felt I have? I grabbed enough to cover the door, cut strips most of the way up, and taped it down. (We thought about giving the boys markers to color the walls, but mommy had instant visions of the whole house being colored, maybe next time.)

This playhouse has survived a month of rough and tough boy play. The boys play in it upright. They flip it on its side. Their favorite is turning it upside down, climbing through the window, running out, around, and doing it over and over. We have story time in the box. The boys flip it over, grab a stack of books and their milk, then coerce mama to get in and read.

Sadly, this box has been beaten up (it did last over a month). But, don’t worry, daddy brought home another box.

I married the best dad ever!

Its amazing the joy they get from trash. What items have your kids saved from the trash?

Why Journaling Is On My To-Do List

If you have been reading for a while you may have noticed that journaling for my husband and kids is always on my to-do list. I still haven’t done it.

If it is something that is continually put off, why is it on my list?

Because of a gift I was left. The night before my wedding I was given this:

It’s from my dad. He left one for each one of us, my mom (actually she had several), my brother, and I. We had no idea they even existed, mom found them by accident. They are not anything fancy. Just a notebook in the color that represented us in my father’s eyes, emblazoned with his art/handwriting (to me his handwriting will always be art). They weren’t even wrote in regularly.

But WOW!

What a gift to get on the eve of your wedding. I literally walked around with cold spoons over my eyes the morning of our big day.

So why have I been dragging my feet on starting them for my husband and children?

Honestly, I’m not sure. Sometimes I think I’ll just remember everything and tell them. Stupid, I know. Sometimes I feel like it is a ‘death sentence.’ If I write down my thoughts, feelings, and dreams to my family; I might die too. I know this is irrational thinking, my journal was started at least ten years before dad’s accident (just a guess- he didn’t date it). Sometimes I feel that those feelings are mine, not to be shared. This is purely selfish, something I need to work on- breaking down my wall. Other times I get paralyzed, my perfectionist takes over and tells me, “You know you’re not going to be regular about journaling, so why bother?”

Enough excuses! This is very important to me. It is important that even after I am gone (hopefully a very, very long time from now) that my family knows my love for them. It is important that they know my feelings, dreams, insecurities, proud moments, and everything in between.

I may forget to tell them. I may tell them, and they may forget.

I want to have a gift to share with my family, just like the gift left for me.

So I start. I start a journal for each one of my men. Just like mine, theirs’ get emblazoned with my art, and written with my hand.

I am not going to beat myself up about regularity. I am not going to guard my heart. I AM going to be deliberate about recording our memories.

What gift had the most impact on your life?

Thankful For Huge Messes

I am so thankful for this:

A huge mess? Yes, a huge mess. A huge mess that I have probably picked up about twenty times today. Why am I thankful? It means my little boys are FINALLY feeling back to normal. Thank goodness!

Because this nasty bug has stuck around so long, my Christmas crafting has been put on hold. I have spent naptime debugging, shampooing carpet, trying to catch up on laundry, dishes, clearing a (gate-able) area for the tree, you get the idea.

Today I was able to craft! I’ll post updates later this week, here’s a snippet to hold you over:

Pretty little earrings for the neighbor girls. I think I like the snowman (complete with each girls’ initial) just as much as the earrings. (Note to self: learn to take better photos!) This is my first time ‘wire wrapping’ my earrings. I am in love!

The best part? They are even packaged. (This may be normal for some, but not me. I am usually trying to remember where I stashed the gifts, AND rushing around like a madwoman trying to find and wrap everything on Christmas Eve.)

Are you getting your holiday to-dos done? Or are you in my boat, and had to decide that some things may not get done this year?

Twin Tip Tuesday, Dealing With Sickness

Hubby has been on vacation this past week. Poor guy.

It was actually a ‘staycation’. We had plans to get started, and almost finished on Christmas to-dos.

All started well. Friday Granny was staying with the boys. Our plan was to spend the night away, and go shopping the next day.

The boys were sick within ten minutes from us leaving the house. Luckily mom insisted that she could handle it, and we fully trusted that she could. Even so, it still made shopping harder. I find it very overwhelming to shop during the holidays. On top of the huge mess of people, all the pretty things, and the yummy smells- having two toddlers at home absolutely miserable- OVERWHELMING!

Enough whining about what I didn’t get done (or the ever growing pile of laundry to do).

Twin tip:

The elusive 24 hour bug people talk about, well keep dreaming. By the time Thing 1, Thing 2, and yourself get the bug, well…you do the math. I will spare you the yucky details.

The positive to our flu is my list of “thankfuls”…

I am thankful that A) I am able to stay home with the boys, because this darn flu would have cost so much money in lost wages. B) That hubby was home to help. I am so sorry that this is how he had to spend his hard earned vacation, but I am so thankful that I didn’t have to deal with this bug all by lonesome. C) I am also thankful that we are able to celebrate this season, even though it is not as organized as I had hoped. D) I am thankful for a thoughtful husband who knows I appreciate practical gifts. (The carpet shampooer he bought while we were dating has saved our house from smelling like a barf bag.)

Hope this twin tip helps, just remember 24 hour flu equals 72 hours (at least). Tell your employer I said so. (By the way, the photo was pre-flu. I should have saved my money, because apparently Cheese Puffs taste better off the floor.)

Have any speed-disinfecting tips?

Vikings

Did you dress little ones up and go begging for candy? We did! Halloween is a big deal around here. My mother-in-law comes over and hands out candy. Hubby’s brother brings his family over. We go showing off our kids to the neighborhood.
Last year, we even put my expecting sister-in-law in labor. (Story for another day…)
Needless to say, we love Halloween.
This year the twins were Vikings. They were oh so CUTE! (Even though they didn’t keep their helmets on.)

I’m sure you all have seen Cheri’s Viking tutorial over at I am Momma. Well, this is where my inspiration came from.
She uses toilet seat covers (genius!). The hubs wasn’t too thrilled with that idea, he felt it would look like carpet and nobody would be able to tell what they were. He wanted authentic-looking Vikings. After all he was a Viking fan for a year…Favre fan.
So I took him to JoAnn's, and had him pick out some fur. We also bought some leather cord, and ordered our Viking helmets from Amazon. That’s it.
The fur was cut into two oval (like a toilet seat cover) shapes, and four rectangles. Then I cut a slit, and a circle for the head of the ovals. Fasten it on your little Viking. Wrap the rectangle around their boots, and wrap with leather lace. Take pictures, and head out on the town. So simple, yet so cute.

What was your favorite costume this year?

Linked up here.

Happy Halloween, I’m Back!

I’m not going to write a long post apologizing for being absent in the blogging world.
It’s simple. I was spending too much time on my laptop, and not getting things done. I had to ‘unplug’ (although not a full unplug…). I was feeling overwhelmed with everything I wanted to get done, and the reality of what wasn’t getting done.
Good news- things are getting done! I have been “crafting away” my stash slowly but surely, finding egg-free meals for my allergic toddlers, settling into a cleaning routine, spending time with family, and much, much more!
Here’s to new beginnings!

(These hats were crocheted using Jack and Mr. Boo patterns from achickwsticks.com. (Personal mods on both.)
Happy Halloween!

Two Year Anniversary

Two years ago today, my little brother walked me down the aisle, and gave me to this wonderful man. We promised God to love and cherish each other forever. We celebrated amongst family and friends. It was the most wonderful day of my life.

It seems like its been much longer. We sure did cram a lot into two years!

I love this man. I am so fortunate to be married to him. He is a wonderful hubby, and extraordinary father.

Here's to many more!

Routine with Twins?

Nap time!

I have been focusing on getting up earlier these last few weeks. Its been going great.

There are a few reasons I have been focusing on getting up earlier. One reason is so I can see hubby for a few minutes before he leaves for work. I make him an iced coffee, and get a big water jug ready for him while he throws his lunch together.

After hubby leaves I usually have an hour to hour and a half before the boys get up. I have been trying to use this time to get some housework done, clothes on the line, shower, and dressed for the day.

This past week, all week- the boys have been waking up between 6:30 and 6:45, even earlier a couple days. Now, this doesn't bother me one bit. It is actually nice because hubby gets a chance to see them before he leaves for work. The only problem is that my routine needs to change, again.

For me this is the toughest part of motherhood. I like to have a routine. For the last year, I feel I have established a routine, then the boys let me know its not right for this time in our life. Sometimes I feel like a hamster, spinning on my wheel and getting nowhere.

Don't get me wrong- we have been very fortunate so far. The boys have slept through the night most of their life. They go to bed fairly easy and early most of the time. They are calm, happy, healthy little boys. We have been lucky!

I just need to accept that things are ALWAYS going to be changing, and learn how to ride the wave. Does anyone else have a hard time dealing with a lack of a routine?

Two Ingredient Cake Tips

As you may have read (or not) my boys' birthday was this weekend. One of them is severely allergic to eggs. So I went in search for the perfect birthday cake for them to smash. I found the two-ingredient cake.

It tastes fantastic! I had plans to make two huge cupcakes, one for each boy, and regular-sized cupcakes for the party-attendants. First I made a big cupcake using my mold. When I tried to pop it out, the cake fell apart and turned into a mess! Oh well, onto take two. I made a 13 x 9 cake. I let it cool all night (mainly because we were up until 12:30 making cakes). The morning of the party I popped the cake into the freezer for a half an hour or so. Then tried to pop it out of the cake pan and... same results.

My husband walked in at this time, while I was spitting and sputtering to myself (or maybe anybody who could hear). He offered make a power run to buy a cake. But remember? Egg allergy.

I had to walk away for a moment. When I came to and decided to frost the cupcakes, I absently started to arrange them on the (handmade) cake boards. I can do this.

I arranged 7 cupcakes to resemble a 1. Then I took broken cake chunks and stuffed in all the holes. Next I generously frosted. The outcome....

Not too bad. Although the boys did not dig in the way I had anticipated...

They honestly only got this dirty because they got help, clearly the enthusiasm is lacking...



My tips? Two-ingredient cake is moist, really moist. It will not hold well for a decorated cake, or a mold (unless I was doing something drastically wrong). My second piece of wisdom- this cake makes a wonderful truffle (I think that's what my concoction may be called. I layered the broken cake (smashed it up a little more), vanilla pudding, and peanut butter buttercream frosting left over from the cupcakes in a bowl. It went fast! This stuff is amazing!

Have you tried two-ingredient cake yet?

Bitter Sweet

Another weekend come and gone. In our household this weekend also represented one more year.

The twins turned one this weekend. Everyone says time flies when you have children. I think time may fly twice as fast with twins. I am amazed everyday at how amazing God is. He has given us two healthy, active, handsome, little boys. I can't even call them babies. They are little boys. They are growing, learning and changing daily.

This weekend also marked the second year without my dad. Two years ago he was in a fatal motorcycle accident. Two and a half weeks before my husband and I got married. I am so thankful that God kept my mom safe (she was on her motorcycle behind him). I just really miss that man. He was a wonderful father and husband. He was the rock our family stood on. I know he would have been the best grandpa too.

It is so hard to switch the emotions back and forth so much in one weekend- joy and sadness; happiness and hurt; pride and regrets. We are one more year more experienced, and healed.

Here's to another year!